Entry 1: Macy Hope

Hello. I have never had a journal before, I am not exactly sure how to start one. I guess I will start with the basics.  My name is Macy Hope. I decided to start this journal in hopes I can keep what little sanity I have left. I remember when I was younger, my older sister had a journal. She said if it wasn’t for that book she would have lost her mind. I am hoping it can do the same for me. It has been almost three years since the explosions that changed my life forever. I am the sole survivor of the Hope family. Hope…. it almost seems comical now. How can anyone have hope, when they have lost everything and everyone that they had ever known. Well I can tell you it is the most horrifying experience, which I Hope (hah there it is again) to never have to relive. Every passing day the memories of my family fade more and more, but the pain and heartache seem just as strong as that first horrible day. The only possession I own from my former life is a framed photo of my mother. It was taken while we were on vacation and she never looked more beautiful. I guess you could say that this is the only thing in my life that gives me… Hope. The photo is a reminder of what life use to be like and what I desperately wish it can be again. I don’t know if it ever will to be honest, but deep down I still believe it can.

If it was not for my mothers photo. I would probably not be here today. The world is a scary place and I struggle to survive. Even finding this paper to write, was no easy task. I have taken refuge in an abandoned shelter. Its just a small building built above the ground, with a gated fence. I am not sure what happened to the former inhabitants. Anything is possible really, I prefer not to think about that too much though. If I did I would never get to sleep at night. Everything I own has been salvaged from near by homes. I do have a bed but it is not much to speak of.

I guess I should not complain. I could be stuck out side in the darkness. Just the thought of that makes me want to cry. Sure its not so bad during the day, but at night… at night it is like there is a blindfold over the world. I would not dream of being out past the sun setting. Only “they” can see then. It is almost day light again and I have not slept. I better end this entry and try to get some sleep. I can see why my sister was so fond of journals. It almost feels like a have a friend to listen to me.

Thank you friend and good night,

-Macy

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