Entry 4: For the Greater Good.

Well I have been working at my new job now for a little over and month and its awful. Even though my muscle degeneration is slight, these intensive work outs we have to go through are exhausting. I get up at 4am every morning. I have to if I want to make it to the base by 6, and its a long walk. Some mornings I just want to cry. Not only am I tired but I am dirty. Even though the base is almost brand new. They don’t have much water. Showers are only allowed to medical staff. For health reasons. I thought for sure they would have housing set up for people, yet again, they don’t. They do have food though. Sometimes it is a hot meal. Which beats the cans of soup I have at home. With no way to heat them. Cold tomato soup is only appetizing for so long.

Ian and I are becoming very close. The sweetest man who has ever walked this earth. I have learned that his past is not too different from my own. He  is the soul survivor of the Bowler family. Unfortunately the loss of his mother weighed greatly on his sanity. He is a little on the nervous side. When he comes to visit he is always checking the sink. I try to ease his mind but I can tell something still troubles him.

I can’t say that my sanity is much better. The other night while Ian was visiting, I just lost it. I started crying and it was uncontrollable sobs. He comforted me until I could form a cohesive sentence. Once I snapped back to reality. He told me not to worry. It was a side effect of the medication. I am not sure if it really was, but it did make me feel better.

We shared our first kiss. Yup I am in love. I am not sure if I should tell him just yet. But I think he may feel the same way. Hopefully I will have good news next time I get to speak to you.

Good night Friend,

-Macy

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